Still Sabbath, March 30, nearly 9 pm
Two major milestones have been reached lately that I have not mentioned. John's chest congestion is almost gone. It was so bad at times and he wheezed and coughed and spit up phlegm and felt oxygen-deprived. To have that gone is such a blessing. The other huge accomplishment is that his tailbone sore is healed! That caused him untold agony. It's probably the most common place for a pressure sore because every time he moves, it increases the pain and the movement delays healing. So! Those are both MAJOR milestones.
John has had a realization today of just how life-threatening his aortic dissection was and it is very sobering to him. I had pulled out the hand-drawn picture that the anesthesiologist made for me at Barnes Emergency Department the night we arrived there. It is posted early on in this blog, I believe. It was early on the morning of January 15. The second CT scan had shown John's dissection or tear originated at the aortic root, right above the coronary arteries at the top of the heart. Because this condition is life-threatening, the doctor was explaining to me the need for immediate emergency surgery to do an aortic resection to remove the ballooned aneurism of the aorta replacing the damaged aorta with a dacron graft. The tear itself continued all the way along the ascending aortic arch, through the descending aortic arch and all the way down to the groin. The tear happens when one of the inner layers of the aorta comes loose. Blood flows behind the tear forming a flap and this blood may collect and pool and then clot. This is what causes the diminished blood flow to major organs and can cause death.
All the major arteries flow out of the aorta, to the arms, to the brain, to the lungs, and then lower down in the abdomen to the intestines and kidneys and pancreas and liver and finally to the legs. The CT scan showed lack of blood flow to John's kidneys, his amylase blood level was elevated showing compromise in the pancreas, too. Showing this all to John, he realized how quickly he could have died. All along doctors and nurses and many people have told him he is a miracle but it is just now today dawning on him just how much of a miracle he really is.
We are thankful for so many blessings. I look at him, skinny, a bit gaunt, scarred and I marvel that he is still the man that I love. I don't love him for his big muscles, broad shoulders, tanned body, and good looks. It is his heart that I love and if anything, his heart is better than ever! His mind is also precious to me and God has healed parts of THAT, too. He can't understand all this...but he does understand the love that has come through to him from so many of his family and friends. THAT he FEELS and it has made him a better man!
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Sabbath, March 30, 2013
 |
| Here's one just to whet your appetite! April 5, 1992 |
Twenty-one years ago today, I was fully pregnant with Baby Karissa. Now you know what you have to look forward to next Sabbath! A detailed post about HER....I mean, you know I could not do that for Natasha and NOT do it for Karissa! So many wonderful memories...so many wonderful pictorial reminders. You will get to see them, too!
It has been a horrendous week for me and a good, progressing week
for John. John drove straight to the fitness center when he got
clearance to drive and went again later in the week. Yesterday he went
to Wal-Mart and survived the ordeal. He is still at 148# which is hard
to understand but he is feeling so much better with this abdominal
"brace" or corset. He just got out of the shower and has done that
himself about every other day this week and THAT is good for him! Most
of all, he is positive and optimistic.
We have so much for which to be thankful! Our friend, Bayard, Becky's husband, is dying...probably won't last out this week. So while John has slowly improved, Bayard has declined rapidly. Hard to see. We are so glad that just a week and a half ago, they (Becky and Bayard) stopped here on their way home from their Barnes treatment, had a good supper with us, and a great visit. We're hoping to go down tomorrow and see them.
For me, the week has been one of emotional dissonance as I have struggled with issues at work. The day care board displayed a lack of grace in what they did, may not have done it if John's influence had been felt, and seem not to understand that this is not how we treat others. I formulated my written response, mulling over it all week, not wanting to be inflammatory, and finally sent it yesterday. Dr. Allison, our Educational Superintendent, felt it was a good letter, Becky V and Ruth both gave me feedback...so I hit the "send" button.
We have so much for which to be thankful! Our friend, Bayard, Becky's husband, is dying...probably won't last out this week. So while John has slowly improved, Bayard has declined rapidly. Hard to see. We are so glad that just a week and a half ago, they (Becky and Bayard) stopped here on their way home from their Barnes treatment, had a good supper with us, and a great visit. We're hoping to go down tomorrow and see them.
For me, the week has been one of emotional dissonance as I have struggled with issues at work. The day care board displayed a lack of grace in what they did, may not have done it if John's influence had been felt, and seem not to understand that this is not how we treat others. I formulated my written response, mulling over it all week, not wanting to be inflammatory, and finally sent it yesterday. Dr. Allison, our Educational Superintendent, felt it was a good letter, Becky V and Ruth both gave me feedback...so I hit the "send" button.
This is a memory of this week and is to make you laugh...
Yesterday, I sent April, a day care worker, home early to save personnel costs. Then we scrambled the
rest of the day to keep on top of everything. For me, it got totally
out of hand. I went up to the playground to help take children to the
potty. First, I took four little girls into the upstairs bathroom: two of them had good bowel movements, so it took some time.
Travis and Esther (no real names used) both needed diaper changes. I brought them down to the diaper room and put Travis on the changing table. He was first because he had messed up his shirt and his pants. It took a while to get THAT cleaned up. Meanwhile, Esther took OFF her messy diaper, handed it to me, and wanted to pull her pants back up. How does one keep one child on the table while preventing the other from messing up her pants?!
It took a while and some help from Charlene. But I finally
got Travis's messy clothes put in a bag and into his locker. Before I
could get him dressed I had to go and FIND some clean clothes for him
from our cupboard. Then I got Esther up on the table. By this time, I
had two poopy diapers that I could not get into the bucket because it
was too full to flip around. Trying to accomplish this, I spread poop
all over the top of the bucket making a great mess. Both kids needed
cream on their bottoms and Eliana helped me get that on her pants as
well...Travis and Esther (no real names used) both needed diaper changes. I brought them down to the diaper room and put Travis on the changing table. He was first because he had messed up his shirt and his pants. It took a while to get THAT cleaned up. Meanwhile, Esther took OFF her messy diaper, handed it to me, and wanted to pull her pants back up. How does one keep one child on the table while preventing the other from messing up her pants?!
I did sign a new Letter of Employment as Interim Director of Stepping Stones Child Care Center. Now I am working full time in ministry with these children, their parents, and a good staff. It takes all I have and then I go work out at the gym three times a week, try to find moments for outdoor walks, then come home to John and "home work"....hmmm....just started dusting last Sunday, have not vacuumed since we came home from the hospital five weeks ago, have not mopped the kitchen floor...but, we have EATEN, the house is neat, it just isn't CLEAN! And John is accepting and supportive of all of this.
What I WANT is time for our garden. The weather has not cooperated with that, not yet anyway!
At Stepping Stones, we are deep into building raised bed gardens. With donations from Community Partnership (where I used to work) and church members, we have a budget of $1500 for supplies, fence, equipment and plants. We are so excited about this! Our day care kids and school kids will LOVE the experience. The first step, which will happen this week, is planting some seeds indoors. Hopefully, on April 12, at least three guys will build the raised beds and by the following week the fence will be installed.
This week, two different pick-up loads of city recycled mulch was delivered. It is smelly and wonderful! You KNOW this is a project I can really get excited about. Will keep you posted and share some pictures soon.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Here's John's most recent post...
Hi there, church family,
I posted the next 2 paragraphs on FB this afternoon, in case you read the one on Facebook.
Good day. Got my medical clearance to drive my car, and I did, right down to Anytime Fitness to begin the journey of still gaining back 26 to 30 lbs of muscle. In a couple of days, it will warm up into the high 50's, and I'll get high walking outside in the fresh air.
Last night I spent hours reading your FB quotes in the early part of the ordeal, like in January. They are all so amazing, I can't get through them without tears.
Yesterday, I wrote a letter to President Dean Coridan and my Ministerial Director Robert Wagley about when they thought I might get back, as far as a tentative date goes, into being a pastor. While I realize I'm not quite ready, it would be nice to have some type of target date. I expect much more progress soon, than the first month here at home, cause all that has been recovered, during the first month, can now be used to stage a quicker and more substantial comeback.
I'll just say, that I've always been motivated to being healthy and fit, and that is a powerful incentive for me for my future, and according to the doctors, saved me from certain death. But it's really not me, it's God who works in us to will and do His good pleasure. I can't stand myself being 30 lbs underweight, after eating at home for a month, only gaining about 8-10 lbs. And having no muscle. In fact, it's embarrassing. Walking into the gym made me feel like a newbie who starts with 5 lb weights, and is trying to catch his breath. Fortunately I feel loved despite my outward appearance.
Special thanks to those who have brought food over for a meal or 2. Today, I received several meals from Russ & Pat Quill. And then there was Marylou Basham who brought over lots of food. We have never expected any food, so surprises warm the heart. Please, this is not a hint that we want food.
Ps 145:8-21 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,slow to anger and rich in love. 9 The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. 10 All you have made will praise you, O LORD; your saints will extol you. 11 They will tell of the glory of your kingdom and speak of your might, 12 so that all men may know of your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. 13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. 14 The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. 15 The eyes of all look to you,and you give them their food at the proper time. 16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. 18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. 20 The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.
21 My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.
Ps 139:1-18 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise;you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in — behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me,your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;the night will shine like the day,for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sand.When I awake, I am still with you.
Enough for now.
love you all
John
Here's John's most recent post...
Hi there, church family,
I posted the next 2 paragraphs on FB this afternoon, in case you read the one on Facebook.
Good day. Got my medical clearance to drive my car, and I did, right down to Anytime Fitness to begin the journey of still gaining back 26 to 30 lbs of muscle. In a couple of days, it will warm up into the high 50's, and I'll get high walking outside in the fresh air.
Last night I spent hours reading your FB quotes in the early part of the ordeal, like in January. They are all so amazing, I can't get through them without tears.
Yesterday, I wrote a letter to President Dean Coridan and my Ministerial Director Robert Wagley about when they thought I might get back, as far as a tentative date goes, into being a pastor. While I realize I'm not quite ready, it would be nice to have some type of target date. I expect much more progress soon, than the first month here at home, cause all that has been recovered, during the first month, can now be used to stage a quicker and more substantial comeback.
I'll just say, that I've always been motivated to being healthy and fit, and that is a powerful incentive for me for my future, and according to the doctors, saved me from certain death. But it's really not me, it's God who works in us to will and do His good pleasure. I can't stand myself being 30 lbs underweight, after eating at home for a month, only gaining about 8-10 lbs. And having no muscle. In fact, it's embarrassing. Walking into the gym made me feel like a newbie who starts with 5 lb weights, and is trying to catch his breath. Fortunately I feel loved despite my outward appearance.
Special thanks to those who have brought food over for a meal or 2. Today, I received several meals from Russ & Pat Quill. And then there was Marylou Basham who brought over lots of food. We have never expected any food, so surprises warm the heart. Please, this is not a hint that we want food.
Ps 145:8-21 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,slow to anger and rich in love. 9 The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. 10 All you have made will praise you, O LORD; your saints will extol you. 11 They will tell of the glory of your kingdom and speak of your might, 12 so that all men may know of your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. 13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. 14 The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. 15 The eyes of all look to you,and you give them their food at the proper time. 16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. 18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. 20 The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.
21 My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.
Ps 139:1-18 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise;you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in — behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me,your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;the night will shine like the day,for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sand.When I awake, I am still with you.
Enough for now.
love you all
John
Saturday, March 23, 2013
DNR (Do Not Resuscitate); Health Directives (or Directions); Living Will
OUR COUNSEL AS A RESULT OF OUR NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE...GET THESE FORMS FILLED OUT NOW WHEN YOU CAN THINK CLEARLY......
At Barnes, the Social Worker brought us some necessary forms called Health Decisions, sometimes also called Health Directives. Because John's first surgery was life-threatening and an emergency procedure, many normal admitting processes were bypassed. That was one of the reasons that he is listed as John Knoblock with a "k" instead of the correct Knobloch with an "h". These Health Decision forms were brought to us before his second or third surgery. He needed to fill them out but was not capable and I could help with them of course but it was very difficult for him to think appropriately. Together, and with the Social Worker's help, we did fill them out. They then needed to be notarized and the social worker was to arrange for that but somehow that never occurred.
When we got home, our Home Health Nurse asked some of the same questions but now it was about an out of hospital DNR. Eventually, yesterday I think, she brought back the Do Not Resuscitate Request form. These forms ask questions about what to do in case your heart stops when you are NOT in the hospital. Its main point is "if my heart stops or I stop breathing, no medical procedure to restart breathing or heart functioning will be instituted."
Natasha, our oldest daughter, talked to us about CPR. Outside of the hospital, CPR very rarely has positive outcomes. Studies have shown that because of lack of oxygen to the brain, most people who have had out of hospital CPR have poor quality of life. We talked to our doctors about this and they assured us that this is NOT true in the hospital. In ICU, particularly, there is always an anesthesiologist present and in the case of a person stopping breathing or their heart stopping, that almost immediately and always within three minutes, a tracheotomy is performed so that the body gets oxygen quickly and no brain damage occurs. This is the difference quite simply between in hospital and of hospital procedures and outcomes.
John and I are quite clear that we do not want "heroics"; we don't want to live on a ventilator or with other advanced life support. In the hospital, especially when we came to the crossroads of that third surgery, we were quite skeptical. We knew that it was the last of any such major interventions for John. In fact, in retrospect, we have wondered if we should have allowed it. The doctors did not see it as heroics, but I had never heard of such a procedure and it sounded totally bizarre to me. Our doctors there, however, knew it was their last stop-gap measure to fight the infection in order to save his life. Some doctors, even now, think it might not have been productive or necessary and we sometimes wonder about it for the simple reason that now John's primary barrier is his weak abdominal wall where the muscle was removed.
All this is just to say to those of you who do not have a Health Directive or a Do Not Resuscitate Request or have not made provision for organ donation, that now is the time to consider this and to ACT. We had to complete those forms under a difficult and almost impossible situation. How much wiser, simpler, and prudent to do this simple task when you can think clearly without complicating factors.
A Living Will document is similar, too....check it out as well...and consider organ donation, too!
Look online. Hospitals have these forms. Lawyers have them. Most health agencies do. We were just advised to spread the word and to share from own difficult experience so that some of you will take the opportunity and do it now and not wait until later.
OUR COUNSEL AS A RESULT OF OUR NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE...GET THESE FORMS FILLED OUT NOW WHEN YOU CAN THINK CLEARLY......
At Barnes, the Social Worker brought us some necessary forms called Health Decisions, sometimes also called Health Directives. Because John's first surgery was life-threatening and an emergency procedure, many normal admitting processes were bypassed. That was one of the reasons that he is listed as John Knoblock with a "k" instead of the correct Knobloch with an "h". These Health Decision forms were brought to us before his second or third surgery. He needed to fill them out but was not capable and I could help with them of course but it was very difficult for him to think appropriately. Together, and with the Social Worker's help, we did fill them out. They then needed to be notarized and the social worker was to arrange for that but somehow that never occurred.
When we got home, our Home Health Nurse asked some of the same questions but now it was about an out of hospital DNR. Eventually, yesterday I think, she brought back the Do Not Resuscitate Request form. These forms ask questions about what to do in case your heart stops when you are NOT in the hospital. Its main point is "if my heart stops or I stop breathing, no medical procedure to restart breathing or heart functioning will be instituted."
Natasha, our oldest daughter, talked to us about CPR. Outside of the hospital, CPR very rarely has positive outcomes. Studies have shown that because of lack of oxygen to the brain, most people who have had out of hospital CPR have poor quality of life. We talked to our doctors about this and they assured us that this is NOT true in the hospital. In ICU, particularly, there is always an anesthesiologist present and in the case of a person stopping breathing or their heart stopping, that almost immediately and always within three minutes, a tracheotomy is performed so that the body gets oxygen quickly and no brain damage occurs. This is the difference quite simply between in hospital and of hospital procedures and outcomes.
John and I are quite clear that we do not want "heroics"; we don't want to live on a ventilator or with other advanced life support. In the hospital, especially when we came to the crossroads of that third surgery, we were quite skeptical. We knew that it was the last of any such major interventions for John. In fact, in retrospect, we have wondered if we should have allowed it. The doctors did not see it as heroics, but I had never heard of such a procedure and it sounded totally bizarre to me. Our doctors there, however, knew it was their last stop-gap measure to fight the infection in order to save his life. Some doctors, even now, think it might not have been productive or necessary and we sometimes wonder about it for the simple reason that now John's primary barrier is his weak abdominal wall where the muscle was removed.
All this is just to say to those of you who do not have a Health Directive or a Do Not Resuscitate Request or have not made provision for organ donation, that now is the time to consider this and to ACT. We had to complete those forms under a difficult and almost impossible situation. How much wiser, simpler, and prudent to do this simple task when you can think clearly without complicating factors.
A Living Will document is similar, too....check it out as well...and consider organ donation, too!
Look online. Hospitals have these forms. Lawyers have them. Most health agencies do. We were just advised to spread the word and to share from own difficult experience so that some of you will take the opportunity and do it now and not wait until later.
Sabbath, March 23, 2013
Last night as we welcomed the Sabbath, we realized that it was four weeks ago that we came home from Barnes Jewish Hospital. I got out my journal and read John some of the things that he said while he was still in ICU:
"Give me something to drink besides embryonic fluid."
"I need some upward mobility."
"If someone wants to do me a favor, put in 2 sets of lungs."
"We need to pray about mission possible here."
To my friend Angela he said, "You probably haven't seen me look this bad." She said, "You were handsome and you are still handsome," to which he replied, "You shouldn't be drinking on Friday nights!"
Good laughs all around!
Reading my notes helped us realize that John was in ICU for 18 days, on the step down unit for 13, moving to 7577 on Valentines day where we stayed for 9, making our total wilderness journey 40 days. Thankfully, our journey was shared by our daughters, our siblings, our friends, and many church members. We know it was orchestrated by the Great Physician, through His many faithful servants including six medical teams (vascular surgeons, plastic surgeons, infectious disease specialists, anesthesiologists, renal specialists, and cardiologists), a host of nurses, and therapists. We are grateful for so much support. The rest of our lives will be characterized by a deeper empathy for catastrophic illness and those who suffer from them, along with their families.
John wrote on Facebook last night:
 | ||
| Rose is always ready to come lay in my lap when I get home |
"Give me something to drink besides embryonic fluid."
"I need some upward mobility."
"If someone wants to do me a favor, put in 2 sets of lungs."
"We need to pray about mission possible here."
To my friend Angela he said, "You probably haven't seen me look this bad." She said, "You were handsome and you are still handsome," to which he replied, "You shouldn't be drinking on Friday nights!"
Good laughs all around!
Reading my notes helped us realize that John was in ICU for 18 days, on the step down unit for 13, moving to 7577 on Valentines day where we stayed for 9, making our total wilderness journey 40 days. Thankfully, our journey was shared by our daughters, our siblings, our friends, and many church members. We know it was orchestrated by the Great Physician, through His many faithful servants including six medical teams (vascular surgeons, plastic surgeons, infectious disease specialists, anesthesiologists, renal specialists, and cardiologists), a host of nurses, and therapists. We are grateful for so much support. The rest of our lives will be characterized by a deeper empathy for catastrophic illness and those who suffer from them, along with their families.
John wrote on Facebook last night:
Feeling
slightly stronger every day. Must wait for doctor and Conference
clearance, before I go back to pastoring. Once the mandatory time that I
cannot lift any weights over 5 lbs is over and past, then Anytime
Fitness Center will see lots of me. My lack of one of two abdomen
muscles is still an issue, but the body
will have to figure out how to compensate. For now, there's lots to
look forward too, and everyday will be an adventure. Just remember, your
prayers put "Humpty Dumpty" back together again. God's Word is such real
food, and prayers do that which God would not do, if we didn't ask.
Thanks forever to all of you!
This last Monday we went back to Dr. Martin, a local cardiologist, because John had gained three pounds in one day indicating fluid retention. The Home Health Nurse also thought she heard some pneumonia in John's lungs. His chest x-ray was negative, thankfully, and an extra water pill helped decrease his retained fluid. What helped the most this week was the "Bear Hug" or girdle/corset with velcro that John can wear around his mid-section. It makes him feel AND look lots more comfortable but he is still learning HOW and WHEN to wear it.
My week escalated into more than 40 hours of work and that feeling of being pulled: John eats better when I am here, he needs my company, appreciates help with exercise. So the tension between being needed at home and being at work mounted with two after-work meetings and some pretty significant drama.
One night we ate at Subway--that was after our doctor appointment. It did not taste good to John when before it was always his favorite! So on Thursday nite we ate at Taco Bell, lately his worst. But this time he loved it and then asked me to bring home some more tostadas for lunch yesterday. Hey, whatever it takes!
My trusty, beautiful red laptop that John gave me for Christmas two years ago is a casualty of this illness. I've had it in the shop this week after I left it in a bag with a water bottle. The cost of repair is too much though they do have access to my data which they will download to disc for me....should get that back on Monday.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Still Sabbath, March 16
Update on John
Last Monday, we drove to St. Louis for three medical appointments. Dr. Maniar was the first, after a chest X-ray. We saw his Nurse Practitioner before him and it was nice to meet her since we had talked to her on the phone several times. They were pleased with his progress and encouraged him to EAT UP and to do whatever he felt able to do. We had gotten there at 10:45 and didn't finish till after 12:30 and our next appointment with the plastic surgeon was at 12:45. They gave us GRACE and let us go and eat lunch. We went to the Children's hospital cafeteria and we thoroughly enjoyed our food there. We got to the plastic surgeon's office and were seen in about 30 minutes making us late for our third appointment, too. Dr. Kels said NO LIFTING for another two months. She is concerned about the abdomin where she removed rectus abdominus, or stomach muscles. Internal healing takes a lot longer than internal healing. So, though his wounds have healed, she is concerned with the internal lack of support that he now has with that muscle gone so nothing is there to support his internal organs.
Dr. Vasquez was last in the Infectious Disease area. She was the kindest and most sympathetic doctor of any that we saw and so we were thrilled to see her again. With consultation with her boss, it was decided that John would come off IV antibiotics that day. His pic line was removed and we were thrilled. He was prescribed antibiotics by mouth and takes Ciproflaxacin morning and night, the rest of his life, or as long as he can tolerate it.
When we finished with her it was late and so went back to the children's hospital cafeteria and ate supper there before starting home. John did amazingly well for such a long day. Tuesday, he did rest and recover a lot! His tailbone sore is slowly, slowly closing up. His cousin from Germany sent some special salve that we use twice a day and it is supposed to be tops for this kind of sore. She also sent some wonderful german chocolates. Stop by if you want a sample!
Another surprise package arrived this week in an Amazon.com box. I wondered what John had ordered and he wondered what I had ordered! Turned out it was Chicken Noodle Soup! Ha....we've laughed and laughed and wondered who sent us THAT!
We still have our up and down days but mostly we are saying "Yes" to this process of very slow recuperation. I feel very stretched at times trying to be at work and yet needing to be here at home for John. He is not at all demanding, thank goodness! But I put pressure on myself especially for meal time. I have to try different foods to find something that tastes good to him and that can take a while.
This has been a slow and restful Sabbath, something we both needed. He is having lots of pain in his abdominal area. Where the muscles have been removed, the inner parts want to pouch out and that hurts! We've had the McIntires here from Salem Church and the Springers from Rolla and have enjoyed their company. Tomorrow we have some company coming, too...
Lots and lots of love to all of you!
Update on John
Last Monday, we drove to St. Louis for three medical appointments. Dr. Maniar was the first, after a chest X-ray. We saw his Nurse Practitioner before him and it was nice to meet her since we had talked to her on the phone several times. They were pleased with his progress and encouraged him to EAT UP and to do whatever he felt able to do. We had gotten there at 10:45 and didn't finish till after 12:30 and our next appointment with the plastic surgeon was at 12:45. They gave us GRACE and let us go and eat lunch. We went to the Children's hospital cafeteria and we thoroughly enjoyed our food there. We got to the plastic surgeon's office and were seen in about 30 minutes making us late for our third appointment, too. Dr. Kels said NO LIFTING for another two months. She is concerned about the abdomin where she removed rectus abdominus, or stomach muscles. Internal healing takes a lot longer than internal healing. So, though his wounds have healed, she is concerned with the internal lack of support that he now has with that muscle gone so nothing is there to support his internal organs.
Dr. Vasquez was last in the Infectious Disease area. She was the kindest and most sympathetic doctor of any that we saw and so we were thrilled to see her again. With consultation with her boss, it was decided that John would come off IV antibiotics that day. His pic line was removed and we were thrilled. He was prescribed antibiotics by mouth and takes Ciproflaxacin morning and night, the rest of his life, or as long as he can tolerate it.
When we finished with her it was late and so went back to the children's hospital cafeteria and ate supper there before starting home. John did amazingly well for such a long day. Tuesday, he did rest and recover a lot! His tailbone sore is slowly, slowly closing up. His cousin from Germany sent some special salve that we use twice a day and it is supposed to be tops for this kind of sore. She also sent some wonderful german chocolates. Stop by if you want a sample!
Another surprise package arrived this week in an Amazon.com box. I wondered what John had ordered and he wondered what I had ordered! Turned out it was Chicken Noodle Soup! Ha....we've laughed and laughed and wondered who sent us THAT!
We still have our up and down days but mostly we are saying "Yes" to this process of very slow recuperation. I feel very stretched at times trying to be at work and yet needing to be here at home for John. He is not at all demanding, thank goodness! But I put pressure on myself especially for meal time. I have to try different foods to find something that tastes good to him and that can take a while.
This has been a slow and restful Sabbath, something we both needed. He is having lots of pain in his abdominal area. Where the muscles have been removed, the inner parts want to pouch out and that hurts! We've had the McIntires here from Salem Church and the Springers from Rolla and have enjoyed their company. Tomorrow we have some company coming, too...
Lots and lots of love to all of you!
Sabbath, March 16, 2013
Annapolis, Maryland -- last weekend.
Karissa arrived about 6 pm...so good to have her home. She came so I could go to be with family for our niece's wedding in Annapolis, Maryland. Had a short evening together...
Friday 1:30 am...up cause I could not sleep, dressed, packed, and left home for St. Louis by 2:30. My plane departed near 6 am, stopped and changed planes in Pittsburg. Reagan National Airport was warm and sunny and I walked on the sidewalk for 20 minutes or so until Juli and Wolfi picked me up. My sister, Juli, has a temporary assignment at Jenelia Farms to the east of DC, so it was on their way to Annapolis to pick me up. We headed right over to our Hampton Inn where my brother, Jonathan, and his family had an Indonesian lunch all ready for us in their suite. Weny and her mom are both great oriental cooks and it was wonderful to share their home-cooked meal. Before long, Jon's other girls arrived; Kristen, the bride and the eldest, who lives and works near DC; Kimberly and her boyfriend, David, she is the youngest; and Kathryn, married and pregnant; both the younger girls live in Lafayette, Louisianna.
We just enjoyed being together and talking with everyone. When they had to leave and get ready for the rehearsal dinner, then Heidi and I, and Juli and Wolfi got settled in our room next door. Because of all the history in Annapolis, we drove downtown and walked all around the US Naval Academy. Later on that evening, we ate at a Viet-Thai restaurant and had more lovely oriental food and great fellowship.
Sabbath, it warmed up considerably. We all ate breakfast at the
hotel and while they all started getting ready for the wedding, the four
of us adventured nearby. Annapolis is right on Chesepeake Bay so in
all directions is water and creeks and rivers and that glorious huge
bay. We found Thomas Point, a wildlife management area out on a neck of
land where we could walk out onto the Point. We parked our car and
then walked, some along the rocky shore, and some on the path, even some
on the dirt road. At the point, we could easily see over to the other side
of the bay to the east. To the north was the Bay Bridge, with bumper to
bumper traffic going over to the scenic areas. Our plans to venture
over were nixxed seeing that traffic! We watched lots of various kinds
of ducks out in the water, saw the light house out in the Bay, and just
sat on the bench and enjoyed the view and being together. Even walking
along the road with beautiful beach homes on either side was a
pleasure.
Kristen and Hil's wedding was in a favorite area of theirs, in a beautiful catholic church. It was a full mass and there were about sixty guests there. Her sisters were her bridesmaids. Both being quite shy, Kristen and Hil were reserved, but also excited. The priest was funny and there was much laughter.
Our nephew, Matthew, Jon and Weny's only son, is 5 years old and is used to going to mass with his mom. When it was time for communion, he wanted some, too, and proceeded into the line with his mom. She told him no, not till he was older, and instead of going back to his seat, he got in the back of the line and again waited his turn. He just could not understand why he couldn't have some too. We all laughed. He was holding his apache helicopter and would rarely let it go.
The reception was held just down the street at the Maryland Inn, a lovely old vintage place, excellent for weddings, and came complete with bridal and guests suites upstairs. The first hour was a reception time with wonderful appetizers. After family pictures in the church, they had some outdoor photos taken as well. About six of us walked down to the wharf because it was not quite time for the reception. Lovely shops and restaurants line the cobblestone streets, and the wharf has lots of pretty boats. Because the day was so sunny and warm, people were out in swarms enjoying the bayfront.
After the reception/visitation time, we had a sit down meal. Kristen and Hil were at their own little table. Hil was so shy of kissing Kristen in front of everyone, so one time, instead of kissing her, he shook her hand. Another time, they "hi-fived" each other and we all just roared. They were really sweet together. In their first dance, they did a swing, sort-of salsa dance. It was lovely. Afterward he said, "I'm just the frame; she is the artwork." That was precious!
Jon doesn't dance much but he did a lovely slow dance with Kristen and showed himself to be a very proud Dad.
For dinner, there were several different choices. I had the vegetarian plate after a delicious salad and roll. Several of us were anxious for the CAKE and finally, very late, they served it, and it was just wonderful AND served with chocolate covered strawberries....ummm, good! We left when it was nearly 9 pm after a totally awesome day.
Sunday morning, there was a 10 am brunch with more than 20 of us family gathered. Our cousin, Kathleen, came over with her daughter, Janelle, from Silver Springs, Maryland. She had not seen Jon in many years. She's in the picture to the left.
We were already checked out of our hotel and ready to leave for the airport. Wolfi, Juli and I just had time to take a great walk in the woods nearby and got in some more visiting and good exercise. My flight home was uneventful. But the drive home was driving, pouring rain with poor visibility for part of the time and that was miserable. Was so glad to get home just about 10 pm. Karissa and Dad had done well together. Each time I talked to them on the phone, John said how delighted he was to have Karissa and how good she was to him! So sweet.
We hit the ground running on Monday morning since John and I had three medical appointments back at Barnes. Karissa left early to go back to school and we left near 8:30 in order to get there in time. I made the foolish mistake (not thinking quite clearly, obviously) of putting my laptop in a bag with a water bottle. Struggled with it all day and now of course it won't boot up. I've felt "heavy" all week with the burden of all my stuff on there with no access...trying to get it in to have it worked on.
In my next blog, I'll tell you about our medical appointments and our progress. Thanks for reading!
Annapolis, Maryland -- last weekend.
Karissa arrived about 6 pm...so good to have her home. She came so I could go to be with family for our niece's wedding in Annapolis, Maryland. Had a short evening together...
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| Indonesian Salad by Weny and Lily |
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| Sisters Heidi, Juli, Weny, her mom Lily and nephew Matthew |
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| Thomas Point with Wolfi, Juli and Heidi |
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| Here comes the BRIDE! |
Kristen and Hil's wedding was in a favorite area of theirs, in a beautiful catholic church. It was a full mass and there were about sixty guests there. Her sisters were her bridesmaids. Both being quite shy, Kristen and Hil were reserved, but also excited. The priest was funny and there was much laughter.
Our nephew, Matthew, Jon and Weny's only son, is 5 years old and is used to going to mass with his mom. When it was time for communion, he wanted some, too, and proceeded into the line with his mom. She told him no, not till he was older, and instead of going back to his seat, he got in the back of the line and again waited his turn. He just could not understand why he couldn't have some too. We all laughed. He was holding his apache helicopter and would rarely let it go.
The reception was held just down the street at the Maryland Inn, a lovely old vintage place, excellent for weddings, and came complete with bridal and guests suites upstairs. The first hour was a reception time with wonderful appetizers. After family pictures in the church, they had some outdoor photos taken as well. About six of us walked down to the wharf because it was not quite time for the reception. Lovely shops and restaurants line the cobblestone streets, and the wharf has lots of pretty boats. Because the day was so sunny and warm, people were out in swarms enjoying the bayfront.
 | ||
| My brother, Jon, and his family |
After the reception/visitation time, we had a sit down meal. Kristen and Hil were at their own little table. Hil was so shy of kissing Kristen in front of everyone, so one time, instead of kissing her, he shook her hand. Another time, they "hi-fived" each other and we all just roared. They were really sweet together. In their first dance, they did a swing, sort-of salsa dance. It was lovely. Afterward he said, "I'm just the frame; she is the artwork." That was precious!
Jon doesn't dance much but he did a lovely slow dance with Kristen and showed himself to be a very proud Dad.
 |
| Juli, Heidi, me, Jon, and cousin Kathleen |
Sunday morning, there was a 10 am brunch with more than 20 of us family gathered. Our cousin, Kathleen, came over with her daughter, Janelle, from Silver Springs, Maryland. She had not seen Jon in many years. She's in the picture to the left.
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| Juli and I on our woodsy walk before flying home |
We hit the ground running on Monday morning since John and I had three medical appointments back at Barnes. Karissa left early to go back to school and we left near 8:30 in order to get there in time. I made the foolish mistake (not thinking quite clearly, obviously) of putting my laptop in a bag with a water bottle. Struggled with it all day and now of course it won't boot up. I've felt "heavy" all week with the burden of all my stuff on there with no access...trying to get it in to have it worked on.
In my next blog, I'll tell you about our medical appointments and our progress. Thanks for reading!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
March 14, 2013--nearly two months from "D" day...
John wrote this to our church family...
Dear church family,
Thought you should at least hear from me and get updated on my status.
First of all, I terribly miss being in church and seeing you, and interacting with each one of you. So thankful I have memories to lean back on.
Second, thank-you for your many cards and prayers. Your prayers for me surely made the difference between life and death.
Speaking of death, and honestly, I don't know why God allowed this hospital infection to take me to death's door, and vastly complicate and prolong my recovery. All I know how to respond is "yes Lord". For those of you who are not aware of my 2nd and 3rd surgeries, and "why", here is Becki's take of what happened.
The second surgery was a "wash-out", to look over the area to see if there was any sign of infection internally and to literally wash the area carefully to rid it of any lurking bacteria. The fear was that the infection in the incision extended internally. When they saw the area, they were relieved to see no sign of infection and to declare afterward that the incision infection was only skin deep. But to be sure, they cultured the graft, the chest wall, and surrounding tissues. After 24 hours, all of these cultures were positive, much to their dismay and surprise, indicating pervasive infection despite there being no visual signs of it the day before. This second surgery was on Sunday, January 20.
On Monday, John's medical teams decided that besides antibiotics, they would need another defense against the infection. The "flap" is a standard procedure for infection. In John's case, the plastic surgeon opened the abdomen (a new incision extending from the chest almost to the groin), removed some of the omentum [layer of tissue in the abdomen to fight infections] and one of his abdominal muscles and wrapped these around the aorta and heart in the chest cavity (also reopened now for the third time). This flap serves as a barrier to bacteria and helps the chest cavity to fight the infection.
It was this third and pretty difficult surgery that has made John's recovery so difficult, while perhaps also saving his life.
Back to my thoughts. Had I not gotten infected, my hospital stay would have been significantly shorter, and I would be making significant progress in recovery. As I have found out, pushing myself, which is relatively easy to do, is greatly hindered by the areas in my abdomen that were tampered with to save my life.
I am impatient to get back to work. I love you folks and this district. Considering all the prayers going up, I do not understand the infection detour. But I choose to obey "in everything give thanks" as that is what the Word says.
Pray for my appetite and weight gain. I'm striking out in that area. Several families have brought over dishes of tasty food. My taste buds are all messed up from drugs and if it doesn't taste good to my taste buds, I just can't eat it.
Yesterday at Barnes, we saw 3 specialists, which included Dr. Maniar, the head of all 6 medical teams who were involved to save me, and who oversaw the surgeries, the plastic surgeon involved in operation 3, Dr. Kels, and Dr. Vasquez, from the infectious disease dept. They took me off the IV antibiotics, and took out the pic line. But I will be on antibiotics by mouth the rest of my life.
Everyone is extremely pleased with my recovery [with the exception of not gaining weight]. Physically, I am walking outside, even going up and down our stairs. And taking showers, etc.
Please continue to pray for a speedy recovery for me. I want to pastor, and not be a basket case. Storm heaven's gates and be bold. Demand affirmative action.
Love you all, John
John wrote this to our church family...
Dear church family,
Thought you should at least hear from me and get updated on my status.
First of all, I terribly miss being in church and seeing you, and interacting with each one of you. So thankful I have memories to lean back on.
Second, thank-you for your many cards and prayers. Your prayers for me surely made the difference between life and death.
Speaking of death, and honestly, I don't know why God allowed this hospital infection to take me to death's door, and vastly complicate and prolong my recovery. All I know how to respond is "yes Lord". For those of you who are not aware of my 2nd and 3rd surgeries, and "why", here is Becki's take of what happened.
The second surgery was a "wash-out", to look over the area to see if there was any sign of infection internally and to literally wash the area carefully to rid it of any lurking bacteria. The fear was that the infection in the incision extended internally. When they saw the area, they were relieved to see no sign of infection and to declare afterward that the incision infection was only skin deep. But to be sure, they cultured the graft, the chest wall, and surrounding tissues. After 24 hours, all of these cultures were positive, much to their dismay and surprise, indicating pervasive infection despite there being no visual signs of it the day before. This second surgery was on Sunday, January 20.
On Monday, John's medical teams decided that besides antibiotics, they would need another defense against the infection. The "flap" is a standard procedure for infection. In John's case, the plastic surgeon opened the abdomen (a new incision extending from the chest almost to the groin), removed some of the omentum [layer of tissue in the abdomen to fight infections] and one of his abdominal muscles and wrapped these around the aorta and heart in the chest cavity (also reopened now for the third time). This flap serves as a barrier to bacteria and helps the chest cavity to fight the infection.
It was this third and pretty difficult surgery that has made John's recovery so difficult, while perhaps also saving his life.
Back to my thoughts. Had I not gotten infected, my hospital stay would have been significantly shorter, and I would be making significant progress in recovery. As I have found out, pushing myself, which is relatively easy to do, is greatly hindered by the areas in my abdomen that were tampered with to save my life.
I am impatient to get back to work. I love you folks and this district. Considering all the prayers going up, I do not understand the infection detour. But I choose to obey "in everything give thanks" as that is what the Word says.
Pray for my appetite and weight gain. I'm striking out in that area. Several families have brought over dishes of tasty food. My taste buds are all messed up from drugs and if it doesn't taste good to my taste buds, I just can't eat it.
Yesterday at Barnes, we saw 3 specialists, which included Dr. Maniar, the head of all 6 medical teams who were involved to save me, and who oversaw the surgeries, the plastic surgeon involved in operation 3, Dr. Kels, and Dr. Vasquez, from the infectious disease dept. They took me off the IV antibiotics, and took out the pic line. But I will be on antibiotics by mouth the rest of my life.
Everyone is extremely pleased with my recovery [with the exception of not gaining weight]. Physically, I am walking outside, even going up and down our stairs. And taking showers, etc.
Please continue to pray for a speedy recovery for me. I want to pastor, and not be a basket case. Storm heaven's gates and be bold. Demand affirmative action.
Love you all, John
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Special Tribute to my number 1 daughter, Natasha, whose birthday I forgot earlier in the week!
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| John said I was radiant |
It just so happened that we were living in Vallejo, CA, and dear old friends Cyndee and Gary Watts, lived nearby. Cyndee and I had gone to Greater Boston Academy together. Gary was an OB-GYN at Kaiser Hospital. He took especially good care of me! Natasha was 5 days overdue, she was not thriving, mom had to leave soon, AND Gary was going off call. So he induced me
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| Muir Beach trip day after my due date |
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| Dr. Gary Watts, OB-GYN and dear friend |
When Natasha was born I was wrung out and looked even worse than I felt! John and I just looked at our pictures of Natasha's birth, and one of my captions says just that. I looked and felt awful! Natasha was beautiful and perfect but because she was not pinking up real well, they took her off my chest and suctioned her out, then wrapped her warmly. She'd just had some mucous that
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| Our darling, alert newborn, Natasha Nicole |
Like I said, getting pregnant took a long time. I was probably 33 or 34 when we started to try. After a year with no luck, Gary did some initial blood work and found out that my Prolactin was elevated; it's the hormone present during lactation. To rule out some kind of Pituitary tumor, I had a CT scan done. It was fine. At that time, they prescribed Parlodel to bring down the prolactin.
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| It's a Girl! Welcome home! |
I worked at the Health Department at that time and Lily, one of our Family Planning staff, had always told me that she was the one who would do my pregnancy test. So when my period didn't start and my temperature was still elevated, I timidly brought her a urine sample. She was delighted and we both watch apprehensively, then delightedly as the dot turned blue, indicating a positive test. I was amazed and thrilled and incredulous!
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| Baby Natasha with mom and dad at four weeks |
Praise God, we had no complications during pregnancy, just a happy time enjoying what I had waited so long to experience. John said I was radiant and I sure felt that way.
The result of that waiting was Natasha Nicole Knobloch. She just turned 24 last Monday. Today, she is married to Jeremy Micheff. She is a psyche nurse and full time student. In December she will graduate as a family nurse practitioner. John and I could not possibly be any more proud of her...our number one daughter!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Sabbath, March 2, 2013
Snow flurries have been part of most every day this last week, so pretty to see, never amounting to much, though! They continued this Sabbath morning as I got ready for church, got John's IV infusion done, helped him to prepare for the day, and as I drove to church. It really was so pretty.
Going back to Rolla Church today was something I looked forward to and dreaded. The Sabbath School teacher saw me enter and greeted me with, "Shall we give you a standing ovation, Becki?" Well, when JOHN comes back to church, that's when we'll need a standing ovation. It was wonderful to be present again with our people there but inevitably, people's care and concern makes me feel loved and I cry. So I cried a lot and felt such a range of emotions....but it was good to be there and good to get lots of sincere and kind hugs.
After our lunch, we laid in bed with our three wedding albums. It's been forever since we've looked them over. Last night we looked at Natasha's birth and so we are on a roll looking at albums. Our big album has just fallen totally apart and will need redoing. The album that contains all of our wedding pictures is faring just fine. Our wedding book is fine, too, and it was so interesting to read various parts, to see the list of gifts received and to see our Guest List, too. So many dear old friends were there!
This is the very first picture that I saw of our wedding photos. My friend, Shirley Rigsby Crawford, came down from Stoneham, Massachusetts, to visit us in Taunton. She knew our photographer and he had sent this one along with her since it was the picture for the newspaper. I was delighted to see it. John posted this on his facebook page ages ago...just LOVE it. Figured I should share something about our wedding BEFORE I post my blog about our Number 1 daughter---whose birthday I forgot last Monday! Someday, in another blog, I'll tell you the story of John and I!
Snow flurries have been part of most every day this last week, so pretty to see, never amounting to much, though! They continued this Sabbath morning as I got ready for church, got John's IV infusion done, helped him to prepare for the day, and as I drove to church. It really was so pretty.
Going back to Rolla Church today was something I looked forward to and dreaded. The Sabbath School teacher saw me enter and greeted me with, "Shall we give you a standing ovation, Becki?" Well, when JOHN comes back to church, that's when we'll need a standing ovation. It was wonderful to be present again with our people there but inevitably, people's care and concern makes me feel loved and I cry. So I cried a lot and felt such a range of emotions....but it was good to be there and good to get lots of sincere and kind hugs.
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| Becki Hamm weds John Knobloch May 14, 1978 |
This is the very first picture that I saw of our wedding photos. My friend, Shirley Rigsby Crawford, came down from Stoneham, Massachusetts, to visit us in Taunton. She knew our photographer and he had sent this one along with her since it was the picture for the newspaper. I was delighted to see it. John posted this on his facebook page ages ago...just LOVE it. Figured I should share something about our wedding BEFORE I post my blog about our Number 1 daughter---whose birthday I forgot last Monday! Someday, in another blog, I'll tell you the story of John and I!
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