Friday, May 30, 2014

FRIDAY, continued

Update on John

Since this blog started for the purpose of keeping you informed about John's condition, let me tell you about him.  It has been almost 18 months since his aortic dissection on January 14, 2013.  We've been told it can take up to 2 years to recover.  Some days John can hardly drag himself around.  Other days he feels pretty good.  Always, though, he must pace himself.  He tends to do the natural thing which is to overdo and then it takes a while to recover.

He is on lifetime antibiotics, two blood pressure meds, and several other drugs.  When he feels crummy, he wants OFF the meds.  Our plan is to talk to his infectious disease team at Barnes to see if in fact he MUST stay on the antibiotics.   Since the Pseudomonas infection got onto his graft, some medical experts say that the antibiotics are suppressing the infection because it cannot be eradicated.  It is for that reason that they have recommended lifetime antibiotics or at least as long as he can tolerate them.  Whatever THAT means.

He was having a difficult time controlling his blood pressure.  His CT scan in January showed that his aorta has in fact grown some, which means his blood pressure is NOT low enough.  That was when they changed his medication and we have seen some improvement. 

Karissa has said that she knows why God spared her Dad's life;  first, so she could graduate from college.  She felt she never could have gone on, been able to concentrate, and finish.  Second, so he could walk her down the aisle.  That is tomorrow.  So we've accomplished several important purposes in these 18 months.

John's main constraint is emotional energy.  Loving people as he does, he talks and visits with people, and gives a tremendous amount of energy to his relationships.  It takes its toll, however, and he is soon worn out and it takes some time to recuperate. 

He continues to work out about three times a week and has learned to use the treadmill and is starting to even enjoy that.  Thankfully, he also eats well and sleeps good, too.  Lots of blessings, to be sure!

Sometimes when he wants to become discouraged
Our wonderful neighbors, Randy and Susan, who provided the
ministry of caring for our lawn for over a year!
with his debilitated condition, I have to remind him just how much worse he COULD be.  Not everyone "comes back" from these kinds of surgeries.  Some people's brains just cannot take the trauma and they don't "come back".  How fortunate we can be that John is as well as he is.  That he CAN take care of himself. 

Not being able to work takes a major adjustment.  John has a hard time with that as well he should.  We have also just moved and that requires adjusting, too.  Life is, after all, sometimes just one big ADJUSTMENT!  So, here we are, grateful that John is where he is and looking forward to our future which God has securely in his hands!
FRIDAY, May 30, 2014

I am looking out my window, watching planes take off from Northwest Arkansas airport.  Today, we check into our Ludy Lake House for Karissa and Winston's wedding weekend.  So excited!

On my last post, I showed you our new home in
Four baby flycatchers ready to fly the coop
Arlington, Missouri.  I wanted to introduce you to our nearest neighbors.  We didn't want to disturb them but it was inevitable.  When we moved in, these flycatchers were sitting on eggs.  But within a day or two, they hatched.  Even looking out the windows disturbed them and they would fly away.  One did fall our and died on our porch but it may have been just the opposite:  it may have died and then fallen out.  The remaining four were healthy and now we have a whole family catching bugs for us! 

The original nest was green with pretty moss which mostly has dried up.  We've been in our home now for 2 1/2 weeks and just the other day, the nest was empty...they've flown the coop.

Karissa and Erica at Weaver's Lake House after dinner
We arrived here in Arkansas last evening before 5.  We went straight to Whitney Mountain Lodge, found Karissa, and got to peak around.  What a gorgeous spot!  High up on a hill over-looking 500 miles of lakeshore on Beaver Lake, with huge thunderheads and dramatic sky and cloudbursts here and there, the Lodge is just lovely.  There are 16 rooms which will be filled with friends and family, outdoor wedding venue, indoor dining rooms, and meeting rooms for church and rehearsal dinner.

After 5, we drove the two miles over to Bob and Molly Weaver's (Winston's grandparents) lake house where about 25 gathered for spaghetti, salad, bread, and custard, chocolate sauce, and mini brownies....u-u-good!  Our job was to deliver Janna Sauder to her hotel so we stayed here by the airport.  In order to help with the decorating this morning, we will head back early.  Our house is just a few doors away from Weavers.

Natasha and Jeremy are driving from Tennessee and should arrive by noon; sisters-in-law Ruth and Esther are flying in from Oregon early afternoon; nephew David and Sabrina and Micah (with one in the oven); Chris and Rosy Davies (also with their first in the oven) arrive early afternoon; sisters Heidi and Juli arrive early evening; brother Jonathan drives in from Texas Saturday.

The high excitement will be over Saturday night but some of our families will stay through Monday for quieter time together. 

Stay tuned for more on our much-anticipated and happy time together!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Sabbath, May 23, 2014

Next Sabbath is a high day for us as Karissa, our daughter, and Winston, get married in the evening.  We have a wonderful family time to which we look forward.  Family is coming from everywhere and so it will be a high, HIGH, weekend together.  It is happening in northwest Arkansas on Beaver Lake.  Next blog should feature the wedding.

My last entry was just as I ended my time as Director of Stepping Stones Day Care, took some good solid time to take care of myself, and emerged on the other side of that difficult time.  Bob Bretsch had invited me to come down and help with his foster kids at their home in Arlington.  The primary drawing card for me was that I would get to work with Bev again. She and I had co-directed Stepping Stones and so I KNEW we could work together well.  But, I'd never considered teenage boys my forte, having had none of them myself!  I got both my boys full-grown, thank you very much, Jeremy and Winston!

However, I needed work, and despite searching while I was at Loma Linda, at Southern, and on-line in Oregon, nothing had materialized.  So I finally consented to part-time work with Bretsch's.  Starting to work with James, and all eight of the other boys, I had to go to trainings to learn the ropes, and it all felt foreign and not at all like a JOB.  I mean, I had to take the boys down to the river and
Sabbath afternoon hike with Bob and the boys:  Damien, Kris,
Joey, Bob (the BIG boy!), Kevin, David, at Clifty Creek Natural
Bridge; the boys loved catching crawdads and little fish
play and float, and talk with them and I just didn't feel all that comfortable...for a while.  But pretty quickly, I started to understand and I started to feel more comfortable.  Before I knew it, I was invested!  I grew to love James, with his sweetness and irrational suggestions.  Joey grew on me; all he wanted was to be listened to.  Kristian was a big showoff but wanted to be noticed.  David wanted to do his own thing but could realize when he'd blown it.  Brandon just wanted to work, work outside, work with anything mechanical.  And so on till I've gradually come to love them all.

So I began by providing respite so that Bob and Bev could get away for some rest.  Later on, I began cooking Sunday Dinner for them so they could sit down to a steaming hot meal as soon as they came in from church.  Now I am licensed to care for all of them.  Another job of mine is to plan excursions; my long-coveted role of "tour guide"!  Though it has its challenges, I feel as though I belong, this is my purpose for now.

Toward the end of March, our home sold.  We had been wondering what our next step would be.  At first, we thought we might move back to Oregon for low cost housing.  I didn't really want to start over again in Oregon.  I checked out Loma Linda and Southern.  With no jobs appearing, it began to dawn on me that I needed to stay where I had a job.  A few weeks after our home sold, and we knew we had to be out May 9, this little cottage/cabin in Arlington unexpectedly came up for sale.  We had not planned to buy another home.  And yet, I had always admired this place and after all, we did need a place to live.  We had hoped to just rent it.  Others who were interested either didn't have the money on hand or wouldn't have it for another few years. 

Arlington is part of county land, a township of its own, 
Arlington Community dog, Princess Buttercup, roams by the
lake in the river bottom with the beaver home in the background
very close to where the Little Piney River flows into the Gasconade River, just 12 miles from Rolla.  There are  lovely bluffs, the town of Jerome is across the river, the railroad runs right through the township, and the river bottoms are home to wildlife like beaver, turkeys, deer, and multiple birds.

So, here we are!  John was determined to "follow me" since for years I had left several good jobs in order to move on to another church with him.  At first, he really was not too delighted with this place and was surprised that I didn't want to go to Oregon.  But he understood my reasoning and came to agree that we needed to be where I had work. 

Looking up the hill from Bob and Bev's big white house; old
cabin on the right; gardens right and left; Liz's red house on
left with our house in the background up the hill
Originally, this was a two-room cabin built like 80 years ago, just a few hundred feet above the big white Victorian mansion.  In 2012, it was remodeled to a 1300 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, home.  Some of the rock foundation and the rock chimney still remain but other than that it was pretty much redone from the floor up. 

In the mid 1800s Arlington was a resort where rich folks from St. Louis would alight off the train.  Right by the tracks is the old train station labelled "Arlington".  Next door is the old hotel.  Other original buildings dot the area.  More recently, Arlington River Resort was operated as a campground.  John posted a video on facebook showing a family playing in the beautiful pool with motorhomes and campers lined up in the background.  Here's that link:  http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dPHg6ey3c9w

Route 66 ran right through the resort, over a
Getting closer to our place; still before spring
 
bridge, and on westward.  Up the hill from us on our road, which is the old Route 66, is another old resort called John's Modern Cabins.  These "modern" cabins have crumbled down and yet it is fascinating to imagine the history that happened on this major route between Chicago and the west coast.  Many motorists still travel the full length of Route 66 and drive slowly down our road, guidebooks in hand.  They want to talk history and they want to know what is going on in Arlington these days.  John has already had several interesting conversations with these tourists and it promises to be an interesting diversion for him.

Our favorite shot of our home with a clear view of the old
stone foundation; new addition with cement foundation
is visible to the far left; added 2 bedrooms; 2 baths
The Trail of Tears also runs through this property.  Cherokee Indians from the southeast were ordered onto reservations in Oklahoma, despite numerous treaties that had been signed promising them they could stay in their own areas.  This Trail of Tears reaches from the Carolinas, Georgia, and Tennessee, all the way to Oklahoma.  On our property are burial mounds from those sad days.

In 2006, a young military family, Leo and Rachel Clark,  bought the entire 480 acre resort with all the buildings and campgrounds sight-unseen when they were still in Afghanistan.  For several years they operated the campgrounds.  Our friends, Randy and Lori Adams, parked their RV in the campground and lived there year round for several years.  She was our elementary school teacher in Rolla.  She became close friends of Rachel.  Lori often told me about the big old Victorian mansion which was built by the mayor of Arlington 100 years ago when it was still a resort.  Rachel and Leo gutted it and remodeled it.  Lori used to help them in some of the projects on the house.  Before long, she came up with the idea that her folks, Bob and Bev Bretsch, needed to move  here from Oregon.  The big white house was big enough for both families with two living areas.

That was when Bob and Bev came to check it out. 
Looking back down the hill toward the big white house; garden
in foreground, tilled once; old hotel barely visible through trees
to the right

 
She was hired to be our day care Director and they moved here.  She did an excellent job as Director.  I came on to help her voluntarily at first and when my unemployment ran out, then I was hired to work with her.  Later on, when her family was starting the foster home, she opted to diminish her hours at Stepping Stones and that is when I took over. 

And so the irony continues as I now start to work for Bob and Bev!  As I realized that I needed to stay where I had work, then heard that this cabin was for sale, I just held my breath, wondering how this would work out.  As usual, God's timing is impeccable.  Our home closed on May 9 and we were able to get pre-possession occupancy so that we moved in here May 7. 

On my lovely front porch with pretty Rosy kitty in my window
 
Our challenge here is to FIT!  As we packed, we sorted, threw away, gave away, donated, and sold everything we could.  But I knew in my heart that we still had way too much.  And we do!  So now, we are sorting, giving away, selling, and donating what doesn't fit here.  This house was sold as is, with couch, chairs, décor, and cleaning supplies still under the cabinets.  Dirty, too.  Much of what I could not use, I passed on to Bev.  They purchased the old hotel, in addition to their big white house, for their foster home so they can use lots of stuff to furnish the boys rooms.  My own canning supplies, food stores, and extra kitchen utensils are down in the hotel.  With no garage and very small closets in our little cottage, our garage and garden supplies are stored in the old school house and in an old cabin.  Our stuff is spread all over but here in our little cottage, we will have all we need.

On of my first projects was building a kitchen garden for
James giving some giving some suggestions on how to put the
raised bed together with the big white house to the right
 
Bev.  The boys helped Bev and I and now it is growing marvelously well.  We've eaten lots of salads from it already.  In addition, there are two large field gardens just up the hill form the big white house and down the hill from us.  Between moving in and working, we've tilled, planted, fertilized, weeded, watered, and generally kept very busy trying to get all these gardens functioning.

Animals are arriving, too, so that Arlington can be as self-sufficient as possible.  Two large pigs were the first to arrive.  Then came a Jersey cow and calf.  Two more cows will arrive shortly.  Our boys will participate in the care of these animals as a means of teaching them responsibility.  Our core values are
Kevin helping me plant our broccoli plants that we grew from
seed; every boy planted some
 
something we try to teach and exemplify every day:  BUICK--Belonging, Usefulness, Influence, Competence, and Kingdom.  I try to help them be useful by giving them the privilege and opportunity to assist in producing our food supply! 

John admitted rather sheepishly recently that he is beginning to like it here and it is growing on him and I am so thankful for that.  AND, I don't know how I could be any more delighted with our new home, my job, and this very inclusive and loving community. 
SABBATH, MARCH 1, 2014

For the past 40+ days we have been remembering what was happening one year ago.  By this time, we were actually home and had been here nearly a week.  So today I can say, PRAISE GOD for all his blessings through this experience.  It could be so much worse!

We still have lots of challenges, first of which is John's blood pressure.  It still tends to be too high and that is what caused his aortic dissection in the first place.  He is on two medications for blood pressure and it still goes up and down.


Yes, it was a year ago today that John had that horrendous surgery to repair his aortic dissection.  For sure, I was numb from shock.  Dom and Marilou had come with me to the hospital in St Louis.  And by this time, Natasha and Jeremy had arrived.  Jeremy picked Karissa up at the airport about 9.  So we were all just in a waiting mode as surgery progressed.  It was comforting to have my kids there...
Sharing the memories helps me to continue the processing that has sped up my healing.  So any dialogue is so much appreciated--virtual or otherwise!

As we awoke this morning, tears came easily as I had the privilege of pressing close to John's warm body.  Thinking about nearly losing him brings me to tears.  Not because it would destroy me, but because it would be a great loss and eventually, lonely.  He's been my "fulcrum" (around which my life rotated) for 35 years, with ups and downs, yes, but a natural part of life.

Best to distract my mind at this point or I will continue weeping....
Heading to the couch for my quiet time and reading.  Been so blessed by reading a Chronological Bible, rereading and studying Purpose Driven Life, and by a new prayer life with John.  I write in our Prayer Journal and take turns praying.  We are learning to pray very specific prayers.  I just started that the other day and have five "healing" areas for John's body and mind and at least as many for MINE!
 
Yesterday, I had a wonderful day.  After lunch, I met my friend Bev at Lowes to purchase lumber for her raised bed.  Bob had approved $300.  The receipt was way over at $302!  We picked up James then proceeded to Bob and Bev's place for my orientation to my new job.  I will be filling in for them two 18 hr shifts so that they can escape the wear and tear of having teenage foster boys.  My job will also be cooking them a special lunch and having it all on the table when they come in from church.  I have two trainings to attend before the end of January.  It was a good start yesterday!
OK...onward and forward with lots of love for you all!