Sabbath, May 23, 2014

Next Sabbath is a high day for us as Karissa, our daughter, and Winston, get married in the evening.  We have a wonderful family time to which we look forward.  Family is coming from everywhere and so it will be a high, HIGH, weekend together.  It is happening in northwest Arkansas on Beaver Lake.  Next blog should feature the wedding.

My last entry was just as I ended my time as Director of Stepping Stones Day Care, took some good solid time to take care of myself, and emerged on the other side of that difficult time.  Bob Bretsch had invited me to come down and help with his foster kids at their home in Arlington.  The primary drawing card for me was that I would get to work with Bev again. She and I had co-directed Stepping Stones and so I KNEW we could work together well.  But, I'd never considered teenage boys my forte, having had none of them myself!  I got both my boys full-grown, thank you very much, Jeremy and Winston!

However, I needed work, and despite searching while I was at Loma Linda, at Southern, and on-line in Oregon, nothing had materialized.  So I finally consented to part-time work with Bretsch's.  Starting to work with James, and all eight of the other boys, I had to go to trainings to learn the ropes, and it all felt foreign and not at all like a JOB.  I mean, I had to take the boys down to the river and

Sabbath afternoon hike with Bob and the boys:  Damien, Kris,
Joey, Bob (the BIG boy!), Kevin, David, at Clifty Creek Natural
Bridge; the boys loved catching crawdads and little fish

play and float, and talk with them and I just didn't feel all that comfortable...for a while.  But pretty quickly, I started to understand and I started to feel more comfortable.  Before I knew it, I was invested!  I grew to love James, with his sweetness and irrational suggestions.  Joey grew on me; all he wanted was to be listened to.  Kristian was a big showoff but wanted to be noticed.  David wanted to do his own thing but could realize when he'd blown it.  Brandon just wanted to work, work outside, work with anything mechanical.  And so on till I've gradually come to love them all.

So I began by providing respite so that Bob and Bev could get away for some rest.  Later on, I began cooking Sunday Dinner for them so they could sit down to a steaming hot meal as soon as they came in from church.  Now I am licensed to care for all of them.  Another job of mine is to plan excursions; my long-coveted role of "tour guide"!  Though it has its challenges, I feel as though I belong, this is my purpose for now.

Toward the end of March, our home sold.  We had been wondering what our next step would be.  At first, we thought we might move back to Oregon for low cost housing.  I didn't really want to start over again in Oregon.  I checked out Loma Linda and Southern.  With no jobs appearing, it began to dawn on me that I needed to stay where I had a job.  A few weeks after our home sold, and we knew we had to be out May 9, this little cottage/cabin in Arlington unexpectedly came up for sale.  We had not planned to buy another home.  And yet, I had always admired this place and after all, we did need a place to live.  We had hoped to just rent it.  Others who were interested either didn't have the money on hand or wouldn't have it for another few years. 

Arlington is part of county land, a township of its own, 

Arlington Community dog, Princess Buttercup, roams by the
lake in the river bottom with the beaver home in the background

very close to where the Little Piney River flows into the Gasconade River, just 12 miles from Rolla.  There are  lovely bluffs, the town of Jerome is across the river, the railroad runs right through the township, and the river bottoms are home to wildlife like beaver, turkeys, deer, and multiple birds.

So, here we are!  John was determined to "follow me" since for years I had left several good jobs in order to move on to another church with him.  At first, he really was not too delighted with this place and was surprised that I didn't want to go to Oregon.  But he understood my reasoning and came to agree that we needed to be where I had work. 

Looking up the hill from Bob and Bev's big white house; old
cabin on the right; gardens right and left; Liz's red house on
left with our house in the background up the hill

Originally, this was a two-room cabin built like 80 years ago, just a few hundred feet above the big white Victorian mansion.  In 2012, it was remodeled to a 1300 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, home.  Some of the rock foundation and the rock chimney still remain but other than that it was pretty much redone from the floor up. 

In the mid 1800s Arlington was a resort where rich folks from St. Louis would alight off the train.  Right by the tracks is the old train station labelled "Arlington".  Next door is the old hotel.  Other original buildings dot the area.  More recently, Arlington River Resort was operated as a campground.  John posted a video on facebook showing a family playing in the beautiful pool with motorhomes and campers lined up in the background.  Here's that link:  http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dPHg6ey3c9w

Route 66 ran right through the resort, over a

Getting closer to our place; still before spring
 

bridge, and on westward.  Up the hill from us on our road, which is the old Route 66, is another old resort called John's Modern Cabins.  These "modern" cabins have crumbled down and yet it is fascinating to imagine the history that happened on this major route between Chicago and the west coast.  Many motorists still travel the full length of Route 66 and drive slowly down our road, guidebooks in hand.  They want to talk history and they want to know what is going on in Arlington these days.  John has already had several interesting conversations with these tourists and it promises to be an interesting diversion for him.

Our favorite shot of our home with a clear view of the old
stone foundation; new addition with cement foundation
is visible to the far left; added 2 bedrooms; 2 baths

The Trail of Tears also runs through this property.  Cherokee Indians from the southeast were ordered onto reservations in Oklahoma, despite numerous treaties that had been signed promising them they could stay in their own areas.  This Trail of Tears reaches from the Carolinas, Georgia, and Tennessee, all the way to Oklahoma.  On our property are burial mounds from those sad days.

In 2006, a young military family, Leo and Rachel Clark,  bought the entire 480 acre resort with all the buildings and campgrounds sight-unseen when they were still in Afghanistan.  For several years they operated the campgrounds.  Our friends, Randy and Lori Adams, parked their RV in the campground and lived there year round for several years.  She was our elementary school teacher in Rolla.  She became close friends of Rachel.  Lori often told me about the big old Victorian mansion which was built by the mayor of Arlington 100 years ago when it was still a resort.  Rachel and Leo gutted it and remodeled it.  Lori used to help them in some of the projects on the house.  Before long, she came up with the idea that her folks, Bob and Bev Bretsch, needed to move  here from Oregon.  The big white house was big enough for both families with two living areas.

That was when Bob and Bev came to check it out. 

Looking back down the hill toward the big white house; garden
in foreground, tilled once; old hotel barely visible through trees
to the right

 

She was hired to be our day care Director and they moved here.  She did an excellent job as Director.  I came on to help her voluntarily at first and when my unemployment ran out, then I was hired to work with her.  Later on, when her family was starting the foster home, she opted to diminish her hours at Stepping Stones and that is when I took over. 

And so the irony continues as I now start to work for Bob and Bev!  As I realized that I needed to stay where I had work, then heard that this cabin was for sale, I just held my breath, wondering how this would work out.  As usual, God's timing is impeccable.  Our home closed on May 9 and we were able to get pre-possession occupancy so that we moved in here May 7. 

On my lovely front porch with pretty Rosy kitty in my window
 

Our challenge here is to FIT!  As we packed, we sorted, threw away, gave away, donated, and sold everything we could.  But I knew in my heart that we still had way too much.  And we do!  So now, we are sorting, giving away, selling, and donating what doesn't fit here.  This house was sold as is, with couch, chairs, décor, and cleaning supplies still under the cabinets.  Dirty, too.  Much of what I could not use, I passed on to Bev.  They purchased the old hotel, in addition to their big white house, for their foster home so they can use lots of stuff to furnish the boys rooms.  My own canning supplies, food stores, and extra kitchen utensils are down in the hotel.  With no garage and very small closets in our little cottage, our garage and garden supplies are stored in the old school house and in an old cabin.  Our stuff is spread all over but here in our little cottage, we will have all we need.

On of my first projects was building a kitchen garden for

James giving some giving some suggestions on how to put the
raised bed together with the big white house to the right
 

Bev.  The boys helped Bev and I and now it is growing marvelously well.  We've eaten lots of salads from it already.  In addition, there are two large field gardens just up the hill form the big white house and down the hill from us.  Between moving in and working, we've tilled, planted, fertilized, weeded, watered, and generally kept very busy trying to get all these gardens functioning.

Animals are arriving, too, so that Arlington can be as self-sufficient as possible.  Two large pigs were the first to arrive.  Then came a Jersey cow and calf.  Two more cows will arrive shortly.  Our boys will participate in the care of these animals as a means of teaching them responsibility.  Our core values are

Kevin helping me plant our broccoli plants that we grew from
seed; every boy planted some
 

something we try to teach and exemplify every day:  BUICK--Belonging, Usefulness, Influence, Competence, and Kingdom.  I try to help them be useful by giving them the privilege and opportunity to assist in producing our food supply! 

John admitted rather sheepishly recently that he is beginning to like it here and it is growing on him and I am so thankful for that.  AND, I don't know how I could be any more delighted with our new home, my job, and this very inclusive and loving community. 

SABBATH, MARCH 1, 2014

For the past 40+ days we have been remembering what was happening one year ago.  By this time, we were actually home and had been here nearly a week.  So today I can say, PRAISE GOD for all his blessings through this experience.  It could be so much worse!

We still have lots of challenges, first of which is John's blood pressure.  It still tends to be too high and that is what caused his aortic dissection in the first place.  He is on two medications for blood pressure and it still goes up and down.

Yes, it was a year ago today that John had that horrendous surgery to repair his aortic dissection.  For sure, I was numb from shock.  Dom and Marilou had come with me to the hospital in St Louis.  And by this time, Natasha and Jeremy had arrived.  Jeremy picked Karissa up at the airport about 9.  So we were all just in a waiting mode as surgery progressed.  It was comforting to have my kids there...

Sharing the memories helps me to continue the processing that has sped up my healing.  So any dialogue is so much appreciated--virtual or otherwise!

As we awoke this morning, tears came easily as I had the privilege of pressing close to John's warm body.  Thinking about nearly losing him brings me to tears.  Not because it would destroy me, but because it would be a great loss and eventually, lonely.  He's been my "fulcrum" (around which my life rotated) for 35 years, with ups and downs, yes, but a natural part of life.

Best to distract my mind at this point or I will continue weeping....

Heading to the couch for my quiet time and reading.  Been so blessed by reading a Chronological Bible, rereading and studying Purpose Driven Life, and by a new prayer life with John.  I write in our Prayer Journal and take turns praying.  We are learning to pray very specific prayers.  I just started that the other day and have five "healing" areas for John's body and mind and at least as many for MINE!
 

Yesterday, I had a wonderful day.  After lunch, I met my friend Bev at Lowes to purchase lumber for her raised bed.  Bob had approved $300.  The receipt was way over at $302!  We picked up James then proceeded to Bob and Bev's place for my orientation to my new job.  I will be filling in for them two 18 hr shifts so that they can escape the wear and tear of having teenage foster boys.  My job will also be cooking them a special lunch and having it all on the table when they come in from church.  I have two trainings to attend before the end of January.  It was a good start yesterday!

OK...onward and forward with lots of love for you all!

Also Sabbath, November 2, 2013

After a wonderful last day at work (!) on October 18, I left right after lunch.  It was wonderful because of:

-- a dozen roses on my desk when I arrived
-- two farewell cards

-- take out chinese for lunch

Paula's firepit and cabin

I came home and packed and said goodbye to John.  Within about 90 minutes, I was at my old friend, Paula's house in Mountain View.  Before long, we were sitting around her outdoor fireplace in front of their picturesque cabin. 

Being too eager, we put our tin-foil wrapped potatoes and our shish-ka-bobs on the fire too soon and though somewhat charred, still we had a great appetite and a wonderful meal!  It was overcast, so we did not see the Harvest Moon that we all knew was up there.  I had also looked forward to seeing stars since it is so very dark out there in the country.

Paula and David at Greer Spring

Paula slept with me in the little cabin loft and that was such a comfort to me in my frazzled and worn down condition.

Sabbath, I helped Paula with the kids' Sabbath School at Willow Springs Church.  We left afterwards and picked up our picnic supplies and David, Paula's husband, and drove east through Alton to Greer Springs.  The day was glorious, the colors just developing, and the company precious!  It was a short hike down to the Springs, which come out of a cave and form a beautiful rushing river.  A second spring comes up right into the river, with a gorgeous aqua colored turbulence.  Paula and David had been there recently and so they knew to walk downstream where we conjectured on the use of a cable-car strung over the river.  It was locked up tight but nevertheless we had to sit in it and imagine its purpose.

We walked on along the river, finally heading up and

emerging just where they had seen an old, abandoned mill, Greer Mill.  From there we walked back along the highway to the car.  We drove on to Falling Springs where we found our sunny picnic table and enjoyed a wonderful meal.  A picture of that spring is now on my timeline.  It was an old homestead and mill and a lovely spot!

Back at the cabin, we made our fire again, this time making tin-foil packets of potatoes, vegetables, hot dogs, and mushrooms.  They came out so good.  This evening was clear, the stars bright, and the moon rose with great majesty over the trees. 

Sunday dawned bright and clear and crisp.  Paula and I worked very hard to create two raised beds for her spring garden.  We hauled old top soil from her back yard, raked up leaves in the back woods, gathered decomposing hay, and finally shoveled goat dirt to make the piles which looked like

freshly dug graves.  Then we planted cabbage and turnip seeds.  We felt so good about our accomplishment and Paula was delighted!  I am so grateful for the friendship and comfort I received from Paula and from David...THANK YOU!

By mid-afternoon, I left and drove the scenic Route 76 over to Becky's Vermilyea’s house in Mountain Grove, enjoying more beautiful fall colors.  Her husband Bayard died in April and she is always happy for company and I needed hers! We ate a yummy supper and went to bed early, both of us being tuckered out.

Monday we did the majority of her berry patch, clipping old canes, she working with her chain saw and I with clippers.  When she went to work, I visited with Michael and Benita Alexander.  She had apples so we made two large apple crisps then took a walk around her home.  After supper at Oriental Hut with Becky Nancy Littrell, we joined Benita at her church for Kids Crusade.  It was by far the best "evangelism" that I'd ever seen with a couple who did a very inspirational and entertaining ventriloquist act and other short "vignets" which blessed kids and adults alike.  A very personal and touching altar call followed where we were invited up to the altar where a trained adult spoke with the kids and then prayed for them.  I was very inspired!

Tuesday, Becky and I finished the berry patch and she was thrilled.  I did some errands, then visited with both Loretta and Evelyn.  Back at Benita's, we worked in her garden and made some progress which encouraged her.

Wednesday, I stayed at Becky's and worked around her yard, cleaning up perennials and raking and gathering leaves to pile onto her raised bed.  I made lentil soup for our trip and had supper ready for her when she arrived home.  Everyone needs a wife like me!

Thursday morning, we headed out early to Arkansas where

Becky and Sylvia reflected in a rain puddle at Pedastal Rocks

Sylvia Mason had arranged a wonderful three day hiking adventure.  After lunch and a short tour of her coon-cap business, we packed up their van and with her wonderful son, Daniel, we drove over to Pedastal Rocks where we had our first hike.  The day was beautiful and the rocks were amazing and the outdoors so refreshing.

Sylvia is like a long-lost cousin to me, her parents and mine having been classmates in nursing and medical school.  So we had known each other as kids but had not seen each other since we were teens, probably. 

From Pedastal Rocks, we drove on to Jasper where Sylvia had rented a little house for our two nights there.  After supper and visiting we were all glad to head to bed.

On Friday, we had a long 7 1/2 mile hike in the Ponca Wilderness.  Our destination was the Goat Trail, an indentation in a massive bluff above the Buffalo River.  I had seen a picture of it when John and I were in Hot Springs, Arkansas, and had wanted to hike it.  But, oh, boy, it was amazing and almost frightening to be at times on a four foot ledge which descended 400 feet down to the river.  We maneuvered it without difficulty, thankfully, thoroughly enjoying the views down to the very pretty river, over to other bluffs, and up to the mountains all around.  After the hike back up, we were ready for a rest and lunch!

Sabbath, we took two three mile hikes.  The first was to

Lost Valley.  Each day we saw the increase in fall color and this day was the peak, we thought.  This hike meandered through forests, following a wet-weather creek, and gradually up to the base of some majestic bluffs.  As we followed it up, we came to a cave, which we explored.  David, Sylvia's husband, had joined us Friday evening, and he lent me his head-lamp.  We maneuvered through narrow passages ways which eventually opened up into a large room where a stream emerged from the ground.  Interesting!  Now, let's get back to the sunshine!

Next we drove up the mountain and made the hike out to Hawk's Bill Crag, also called Whittier Point.  Oh, wow, oh wow...it is supposed to be the most photographed spot in Arkansas.  The colors were magnificent and everyone knew it was peak weekend.  Sylvia and David had never seen so many people there!  We ate our lunch overlooking the valley and enjoyed the scenery to the full.

That night, we returned to Masons enjoyed their daughter, Melody's beautiful new cabin, built with site of Sylvia and David's home, right on their pond.  I had watched its progress on Sylvia's facebook and to see it all completed and to enjoy sleeping in it was such a pleasure.

Becky and I were together almost 7 days and she was

wonderful to be with.  Thank you for your love and care, Becky! 

Sunday, we headed home to Becky's and from there, I came home, after 10 days of being away.  I am glad to be home.  It is strange for both John and I to be home together all day.   I managed to keep busy and now tomorrow, we will head back down to Chattanooga to see our kids.

Sabbath, November 2, 2013

I see that my last post was way back on June 29.  Four months have passed and they have been memorable, to be sure!  Finally, in August, after three months of “trying”, John reluctantly admitted that he could not do his job.  He had not recovered at all since he started back to work in May, had gained no weight, and if anything, had lost energy.  When he finally called Robert Wagley, our Minsterial Director, to tell him he could not do it, Robert was understanding.  Immediately, he started the wheels turning so that John could receive Medical Disability.  Initially, they told us that John would start disability toward the end of October.  

We kept asking ourselves, how are we ever going to survive in this job another few months?  It was a few weeks later that Robert called back and said the following Sabbath (toward the end of August) would be John’s last Sabbath at Rolla and that the next week would be his last at Salem and Waynesville.  They would put him on medical leave until his disability would begin, about November 24.  We were extremely relieved, though somewhat surprised, to say the least.

Becky Vermilyea and Nancy Littrell with us in Branson

Our church leadership was not surprised, though some were extremely disappointed.  Naturally, others were not!  I am quite sure that some also felt abandoned by us.  We hate to LEAVE anywhere but in this circumstance, though we were sad, we also saw the necessity. 

Since the end of August, John has not gained much energy but he has gained weight, so I will have to say THAT is progress!  He walks about 2 miles every day (used to be 2 ½) and he works out almost every day.  How much he works out depends on his energy level.  He has regained muscle and is definitely looking better and more filled out.  He always wears his abdominal band which helps to support him where he has lost his Abdominus Rectus muscle.

Unique mountain community of Eureka Springs

We had planned on an extensive Western trip beginning in late October.But the closer we got to the date, the less John was inclined to go.  I was disappointed, to be sure.   

John and I had made a Labor Day weekend trip down to Branson and over to Arkansas and Oklahoma.  On Sabbath afternoon, Weavers (Winston’s grandparents) invited us to their lake home, where their family was gathered.  We got there around 2 but about 8 am that morning, Winston and Karissa who were also visiting, got engaged!  We were delighted to be part of the celebration and to see the video of the event.  Winston had called us at our hotel the night before to ask John’s permission, which he readily gave, so we had wind of it.  They plan to be married on May 31 in Arkansas.  He’s a great guy and is so good to Karissa.

In late September, we traveled to Chattanooga and spent 5 days with

Seeing Karissa was a highlight!

our kids there. We took care of ourselves during the day, then when the kids were done with work, we’d get together for supper and a walk or tennis.  One day, we went and saw Karissa on her work unit at Erlanger Hospital.  So proud of her!  Saw where Winston works too.  Both Natasha and Jeremy are doing clinicals.  The weekend was all OURS and we hiked at Lula Lake, a beautiful natural area on Lookout Mountain.

My work at Stepping Stones was stressful and it was hard not to talk about it with John.  That only increased HIS stress.  I also felt like we both were suffering from PTSD but not POST Traumatic Stress Sydrome, rather PERSISTENT TSD!  Also, the pastor’s wife does not need to hang around once the pastor is gone, so reluctantly (well, there was some relief, too!) I finished my job as day care director, October 18 being my last day.

So now, what?  Our home has been for sale now for some time.  We are not sure what our next step is, but GOD KNOWS and we are trusting him to open doors for us.  I used to say, like Sound of Music, “When God closes a door, he always opens a window”.  But the reality is that when God closes a door, the hallway can be hell!  We should feel footloose and fancy-free, instead, the way ahead is murky. 

Our Sabbath hike together to Lula Lake

We had wanted to go down and live near our kids who are both in Chattanooga.  Karissa and Winston will be moving from there next summer.  Natasha and Jeremy may be there another six months or so after that.  My perspective was that it would be a temporary stop-over, not a permanent move.  This may be the only time in their lives when they live nearby each other.  Since our home has not sold, however, it just does not seem wise to go that direction. 

We do have an option to live in John’s folks’ old home in Falls City, OR, next door to his sister, Ruth, and her husband, Larry, for low rent.  Right now it is rented.   Though neither of us is keen on living in the Willamette Valley again, it might be that it is the right option for us for now when our home here sells and Ruth assures us she can make it happen.  Guess time will tell.